What is the meaning of life?

Well, if you're a web junky, you're probably pursuing the high you felt when you first discovered the HyperText Transmission Protocol and its handmaid, the HyperText Markup Language. What a wondrous thing - a universal, public-domain, cross-platform network interface for exchanging text and images, with no central control because it was based off the Internet. At last the Computer had come to the People. Some even predicted the end of distributors and advertisements, as the World Wide Web would directly bind consumers and producers. No more starving artists! What a thrill when you realized that the fulfillment of each individual man, woman and child was upon the Earth.

But now the thrill is gone. What happened? You fell victim to a terrible curse. The Utopia that was promised never materialized. Instead, the web became one more addictive commodity that you greedily consume in service to your passions. Now you are trapped in a cycle of craving and frustration. Your network isn't fast enough to satisfy your appetite. Bogus Spammers distract you with pointless drivel. Corporate conspiracies ply you with will-sapping meme parasites. Your boss may be watching you! How did you get caught in this maze of illusion?

What is this?

Nothing that you see in your screen has any meaning beyond what you have invented, but you are believing the lie. You actually think the pattern of colorful lights is something Real! You have constructed a vast virtual world and become utterly lost in it! Your attachment to this Virtual Reality keeps you investing in the latest protocols and interfaces, makes every bottleneck and broken link an excruciating torture, turns you away from your neighbor, and causes you to download more porn in one hour than the average Victorian saw in a lifetime.

What can I do?

You need to stop grasping at digital dreams. You need to abandon the false security of your registered domain name and live in the packet transmission! Only by letting go of the ego can you answer the question: does the Higher Self choose the hyperlink?

Truly, Big Steve would love to club the Baby Seal of your ignorance with the Big Stick of enlightenment, but for now here are some links that may help you - or perhaps confuse you even more.

Why are we here?

Do you hate everybody? Every last motherloving human being on this pathetic ball of dirt spinning through a pointless vast void? Do you ever wish you could use that nuclear football the POTUS has to destroy civilization?

If so, you should get over yourself! Clearly you are a victim of megalomania, or morbid pessimism. Perhaps you are intimidated by the dimensions of the known Universe, and the apparent insignificance of the human species. Perhaps you have been frustrated one too many times in your Blatant quest for personal Satisfaction.

Either way, you need a strong antidote for the poison in your mind. So read this illuminating rant, while continuously reminding yourself of two important facts - the world wasn't put here for your sake, and you're damn lucky to be alive!

Where do I go?

This Big Site was created to fill that terrible hollow space inside you. Gorge on the heavy nourishment of Burdensome Sagacity, or snack on the lighter fare of Big Steve's favorite links. Explore the mysteries of the divine, or contemplate the future of the nation. Wherever your destiny takes you, you will Be Satisfied!