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No, I don't write for the Lemon. I just like satire.
It's okay, America, we'll work this out.
Self-righteous Americans differ in many of their beliefs, but there's one thing they can all agree on - half the country's gone completely nuts! If your neighbors aren't part of a bloodthirsty cabal of neoconservatives, bent on fighting illegal wars for Zionist entities, then they're ignorant throwbacks to a misguided age, trying to sell the nation out to the Chinese Communists! What's an ordinary, sane citizen to do?
Even the Internet is full of crazies these days. A visit to an online discussion forum reveals them ranting, pushing their conspiracy theories, and flinging insults at one another.
"This Congress is so cowardly," laments underw0rld, "bending over every time the administration demands more funds for its wars and its police state. It's all a plot by Haliburton to secure control of the world's oil."
But freedom47 disagrees: "This administration is so phony, pretending to uphold conservative values even as it approves of every outrageous liberal program Congress sends its way. It's all part of Hillary Clinton's secret plan to capture the White House in 2008 and then hand sovereignty over to the United Nations."
It's traitors versus war criminals in a battle royale for America's soul! Could it possibly be that they both have good points? There is one conclusion they share: "Our Founding Fathers are rolling over in their graves!"
So, whether they're standing in line to buy tickets to "The Passion," or to marry their gay life partners, Americans everywhere are definitely standing for something. Plus, they can count on their countrymen to chide them relentlessly, thus saving them from falling down the slippery slope toward rampant Jew-bashing or polygamous bestiality. It's a good thing!
And if you're worried about the direction in which our country is headed - well, relax, it can only go so far before we have our referendum: we get to pick the president at the end of the year. What could possibly go wrong?
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Posted by Steve Barrera at 12:14 PM
| Wednesday, March 03, 2004 |
A Boomer's passion. Paul Richard at the Washington Post compares Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ to Counter-Reformation art, which was part of the Catholic arsenal in a distant culture war against Protestant sensibilities. Richard marvels that Protestant Americans are so keen on the film; but then, the battle now is between those who worship Jesus and those who don't. Theological particularities aside, red zoners know the success of this movie marks a victory for them in today's culture wars. True to his generational archetype, Gibson has artfully expressed his inner vision of the meaning of Christ's Passion.
Posted by Steve Barrera at 4:14 PM
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Current ages of
the living generations
| Lost |
104+ |
| G.I. |
80-104 |
| Silent |
62-80 |
| Boomer |
44-62 |
| Gen-X |
23-44 |
| Millennial |
?-23 |
| Homeland |
? |
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